I feel like I can’t say this enough, but the second best part about people visiting is going out to try new places to eat. I know that we can do it on our own, but it just doesn’t seem the same as when people you love are here and going out with them to spend quality time together. So when my parents came, they really wanted to take us to Crustacean. They went with some friends and had a great time, and it’s one of those historic San Francisco restaurants that you feel like you should go to at least once. (I decided they needed to try Cockscomb, and I’m fairly certain they loved it, so the visit was already a win in my book.)
When we got to the restaurant, my parents were already there, so we were shown to their table. This is when things at the restaurant start to get a bit sour. I looked at the seating, and there was already someone sitting at the table behind it, and the chairs were back to back. Now I’m aware that I’m not a small person, but the ONLY way someone could fit in there comfortably is if they were Christian Bale from The Machinist. And that would only be if the person already sitting in the chair somehow morphed into someone afflicted by the “Thinner” curse after a few weeks. So they graciously moved us to another table nearby…that had a very similar problem. I get the restaurant is super popular, but cramming people in makes for an unpleasant dining experience. Luckily, they also had a table in the lounge that had more space, except it was along a banquette, so it could, in theory, end up with a situation that’s almost communal dining. We didn’t really have that problem here, but it did put me in a bit of a weird mood for the beginning of the meal.
After looking at the menu, two of us wanted red and the other two white, so we ordered two bottles for the table. Two of us at the table ordered the house specialty of roasted crab (market price and for an additional $5 they will break it apart for you because there’s no way I’m going to waste my time cracking a crab myself). My mother isn’t a huge fan of crab, so she ordered the prawns with garlic noodles. We also ordered the braised short rib and an extra order of garlic noodles for the table (as it’s also a specialty of the house). We also decided to start with some seared ahi tuna and some crab puffs.
Both of the starters arrived before we had even gotten our wine. I know it’s a small thing, but it’s pretty annoying. Plus, it took a VERY long time before we got the first bottle, and then we had to wait for the second. We did ask for the red wine to be left on the table, while the white was taken away to keep chilled. Frustratingly, it just meant that the white wine drinkers had to wait a VERY long time to get their glasses refilled because they couldn’t do it themselves, and the service was pretty much lacking in every way. The crab puffs were small and fairly average for the price we paid for them. The ahi tuna was better, but they basically pre-sear it then stick it in the fridge, so it was VERY cold when it arrived.
When the main courses arrived, they didn’t really look that appealing. The crab was just piled onto a plate. The short rib looked a bit small for the price point. The prawns looked nice, but there were far more noodles under the prawns than in the side of noodles we ordered, so I imagine the majority of the cost of the prawns was for the huge pile of noodles. The crab was alright. I was expecting much better for it being a house specialty. The noodles had a great flavor, but they used the very thick, round noodles, and the texture just killed it for me. A wide, flat noodle would have really made that dish better. Plus it’s literally just noodles with garlic. No veg; just noodles. The short rib was also a fairly uninteresting dish. The prawns were overcooked, and the dish just didn’t really make a lot of sense.
Even though I was unimpressed, I was still a bit peckish, so we decided to order a dessert to share. It was Baked Alaska with Bananas Foster. The baked Alaska was not baked and had a very small amount of meringue. But it was probably the best thing I ate that night. The Bananas Foster was literally just raw bananas with caramel sauce. There was no effort involved except for slicing a raw banana. Honestly, the banana made no sense with the dish.
Crustacean really did kind of meet my expectations as they weren’t very high to begin with. Most of the older restaurants in San Francisco seem to just stick with what made them popular years ago, and it seems like they put no effort into updating things at all. I imagine it may have been great then, but for the price we paid for dinner, it really should be much better (as in not overcooked seafood). I’m glad I got to try it, and I had a great time with my family, but I definitely won’t be going back for a repeat performance.
Score: 2.5/5
Recommendation: Probably just go somewhere else.
Crustacean
1475 Polk St
San Francisco, CA 94109
